Choose Your Own Misadventure - 5

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“Fine!” Lorcan groaned. “I will go to the bloody festival, but I’m taking Thomas with me!”

“Really?” Thomas gasped gleefully. “Mom, Dad! Can I really go?”

Their father arched his eyebrow skeptically at Lorcan. “You want him to go with you?”

Lorcan nodded. “We’re going to annoy the living daylights out of Julian, aren’t we, you romantic little monster?” He ruffled Thomas’ hair.

“Hey! No fair!” Julian complained. “Why is everyone out to get me?”

“Boy! I ought to wallop you again just for asking that!” Great Grandma shook her cane in Julian’s general direction menacingly.

Julian flinched in a cowardly fashion and the rest of the family enjoyed a good laugh at his expense.

“Well, now that you’ve all seen that I’m alive and managed to force me into some future humiliation at the festival tomorrow, I’d like a moment alone with Luciana. I would like to hear her explanation for a few of the things that happened in town the other day.” Lorcan pried Mandy’s arms from around his neck and shooed the others toward the door.

“Are you going to ask her to dance with you tomorrow night?” Thomas asked in his mushiest gag-worthy hopeless romantic voice.

Lorcan laughed nervously, shot a terrified glance at Luciana, and then grabbed his youngest brother by his ears. “Listen to me very carefully, little bro,” Lorcan whispered. “No matter how much your love story addled brain wants to say anything about Luciana being romantically entangled with anyone I need you to refrain. We’re trying to annoy Julian and avenge all those poor girls he’s fooled over the years, not get me stabbed by the scary daughter of the even scarier Senator. Do you understand?”

Thomas looked confused so Lorcan rocked his head back and forth as though he were nodding.

“Now run along and try not to say anything that will get me killed.” Lorcan released Thomas, who scampered off to follow the rest of the family out of Lorcan and Mandy’s bedroom.

Luciana closed the door and then sat down on the stool that had been placed next to Lorcan’s bed. “Some girl is going to rip that little boy’s heart out and make him watch her stomp on it.”

“So I keep telling him. He just looks at me with pity in his eyes every time. Being pitied by a six year old is its own special kind of awful.” Lorcan swung his legs out from under the blankets and sat on the edge of his bed.

“What did you want explained?” Luciana asked. It surprised Lorcan just how little emotion she could show on her face.

Lorcan smirked just a bit. “Whatever you’re willing to, which I assume is nothing. Mostly I wanted to get a moment’s peace and quiet.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, thoroughly enjoying the silence.

Luciana sat quietly. She seemed absorbed in her own thoughts.

“You can go, if you’d like,” Lorcan said after a while.

Luciana stood and looked out the raindrop covered window. She clasped her hands behind her back as she scanned the scenery. “I’m not certain that would be wise.”

“And why is that?” Lorcan asked.

She did not answer. She just kept staring out at the rain.

When she did not respond, Lorcan changed the subject. “Did Evie make it back to the inn safely?”

Luciana nodded.

Lorcan waited for her to elaborate. She did not.

“A beautiful woman who understands the virtue of silence. That is perfection.” Lord Cumberbatch’s sophisticated voice resonated within Lorcan’s head.

Lorcan leapt to his feet and made a strangled yelping sound. “Did you hear that? Please tell me you heard a voice that wasn’t mine!” He knew the answer—but still, he hoped.

Luciana studied him intently. Her pale green eyes focused on where the medallion rested beneath his shirt.

“Don’t irritate this lovely creature. She is quite obviously your better. Now do me a favor and get her to turn back to the window. I want some more time to appreciate that marvelous ass of hers.”

“You can’t say that!” Lorcan blushed.

“Interesting,” Luciana mused.

“Have you got any brandy? This is a still, isn’t it? I have a thirst.”

“I don’t drink,” Lorcan tried to whisper, but Luciana obviously still heard him.

“No, but I do. Now be a good lad and fetch me a brandy. I’m not certain I can face sharing your thoughts while sober.”

“I am not getting drunk for you! I—” Lorcan’s whispered conversation with Lord Cumberbatch was cut short when Luciana’s elbow hit Lorcan’s chest with enough force to knock both the wind from his lungs and his feet out from under him.

Luciana leaned over Lorcan as he writhed in pain on the floor. “Can you hear the voice now?” she asked calmly.

“Why did you hit me?” Lorcan gasped. He was having trouble breathing properly.

“I like her.” Cumberbatch chuckled. “See if you can get her to do that again.”

“I wanted to see if a sudden trauma would interrupt your connection to the talisman,” Luciana explained patiently. “Please answer the question now.”

“I can still hear him,” Lorcan groaned. “He likes you.”

“In that case it would seem that the talisman creates the bond, not an unconscious concentration on your part. Interesting indeed.” Luciana nodded to herself.

“How many more times are you going to hit me?” Lorcan asked. He could finally breathe somewhat normally and he managed to stand without falling over.

“On average, a boy your age has to be struck eight times before he learns to avoid me,” Luciana answered matter-of-factly.

“Wait, seriously? Eight times?” Lorcan massaged his chest where she had elbowed him.

Luciana frowned. “People always question me when I tell them these things…do I look like the kind of girl who makes a lot of light hearted jests?”

“Sorry. It’s just that you’ve hit me twice now and I’m having difficulty picturing someone surviving six more encounters,” Lorcan replied.

Luciana shrugged. “Some of them don’t.”

“Festival!” Thomas ran in a circle around his cousins as they walked down the Weyrd Mountain trail.

Luciana rode ahead of them on her fine black steed. Lorcan walked beside Great Aunt Lorna’s son Albert. At twenty-eight, Albert was quite old to have not been married yet and his bachelorhood was certainly not by choice the way Julian’s was. Tall and goofy, Albert was always more interested in watching the clouds drift by than he was in working. He had been engaged twice, but both woman had left him for someone more ambitious. Albert rarely worried about the demise of his courtships—in fact, he was usually relieved not to have to work so hard to impress someone any more.

Julian walked with them as well, though he was engrossed in thought as he prepared to deploy the various stratagems and deceptions that he had concocted since the last festival. This suited Lorcan and Albert just fine, since neither of them cared much for their smarmiest cousin.

Their female cousins made it a point to arrive in town separately from Julian, so poor was his reputation among their female friends—the ones who did not still believe Julian loved only them and was playing the other girls for fools, that is. They would not leave the still for at least another hour, which also gave them time to try and cajole Mandy into a dress. At thirteen she was expected to participate in festivals, but so far this year she had escaped by fleeing into the woods and refusing to return until well into the evening.

“I can’t wait to see all the pretty girls in their gowns!” Thomas jumped for joy.

“I’m not carrying him back when he uses up all his energy and passes out,” Albert said.

“Don’t worry, it will all be worth it once we unleash him on Julian’s admirers,” Lorcan assured him.

When they reached the edge of Ostfield it was still early afternoon, but the sound of music and the smell of good cooking made it clear that the badger festival was already in full swing. Julian made a beeline for two pretty girls, leaving the rest of them before anyone could protest. Luciana dismounted and handed the reins of her horse to a servant who popped out of nowhere.

“Where did he come from?” Albert asked, watching the servant lead the horse away.

Luciana ignored him. She scanned the crowd, obviously searching for something or someone.

“What are we going to do?” Thomas groaned. He was watching Julian make his girlfriends laugh at some joke or amusing story. “We have to rescue them!”

Albert looked at Lorcan as though to say he had brought this on himself, shrugged, and then wandered off.

“Hey! Cousin Albert! Where are you going? What if we need your help to stop Julian?” Thomas called out frantically.

“Calm down, kid. All we have to do is distract Julian. Trust me, it’s no use trying to convince the girls that he’s lying to them,” Lorcan told Thomas.

“But how will we distract him?” Thomas asked. He was so anxious about the situation that he was hopping up and down nervously.

“Well, there are two options that I’ve seen work: find some other girl prettier than those two and Julian will ignore the first girls or do something that makes these girls less attractive so Julian just wanders off on his own. He’s incredibly shallow, so either one works like a charm.” Lorcan scratched his chin thoughtfully.

“I have an idea!” Thomas exclaimed. He then darted off through the crowded square, snatched a beer from a nearby table, and threw the beer so that it soaked both girls.

The girls screamed and Thomas beat a hasty retreat. Julian looked disgustedly at the beer-drenched young women and left without another word.

Lorcan watched the whole scene in between fits of laughter.

“Did I do good?” Thomas asked. He was hiding behind Lorcan’s legs so the girls could not see him.

“You were amazing!” Lorcan assured his youngest brother.

Luciana gave both of them a disapproving look, but said nothing.

“Young man,” a stern voice said from behind them. Lorcan and Thomas spun around to see a short brown haired girl about Mandy’s age with glasses looking down at Thomas. “I just want to tell you…” she paused for effect, “that that was incredible!”

She knelt down to give Thomas a big hug. Thomas, looking more than a little shocked, returned the hug happily.

“I have been waiting forever for someone to try and snap those girls out of that pig’s spell! I’m Jena, by the way. The librarian’s daughter and town mystery-solver.” Jena’s blue eyes twinkled as she stood back up. Her long medium brown hair was thick and curly. She wore a dark blue dress that hugged her curvy figure without being too scandalous.

“You solve mysteries? Whoa! What kind of mysteries do you solve?” Thomas asked.

“Oh, thefts mostly. I’ve found some people who had disappeared or children who had gotten lost. It’s all about following the clues and paying attention to what other people don’t.”

“Really? You sound like you’d like my brother Lorcan! He’s very observant! Aren’t you, Lorcan?” Thomas nodded at Jena with an enormous grin on his face.

Lorcan blushed a bit, but shook his head and smiled. “Real subtle, little bro.” He patted Thomas on the head. “I’m Lorcan, as you no doubt deduced.” He held out his hand to Jena.

Jena laughed as she shook his hand. “That wasn’t much of a mystery, no.”

“So will you dance with him? Please! He’s my nicest brother and Great Grandma always says he’s my least annoying cousin!” Thomas looked hopefully at Jena.

“Oh, I wish that I could! But I’m solving a very important case right now.” She looked from Thomas to Lorcan and unless he imagined it, Lorcan thought her eyes lingered on him just a bit before she turned to head back into the crowd. “Maybe next time!” she called over her shoulder.

“Rats!” Thomas groused. “So close! Oh no, look over there!” He pointed to where Julian was engaging another girl in conversation. He sprinted off, darting between legs and frilly dress skirts.

Lorcan chuckled as he watched Thomas tug on the girl’s skirt and make some rather impressive arm gestures as he jumped and shouted something Lorcan shouldn’t quite hear. Julian shook his head embarrassedly and tried to push Thomas away, but he had captured the girl’s attention and she knelt down to listen to whatever ridiculous story Thomas was telling her.

Watching Thomas’ performance was interrupted by another of Lorcan’s siblings. Mandy, in a green dress that almost made her look girly despite her short sandy hair, darted furtively over to Lorcan and hissed, “Save me!”

Lorcan looked past Mandy to see their cousins hunting her. “Come with me,” he said with a smirk. He led her over to the tavern and hid her behind some empty kegs.

Julian’s younger sister Morgana, her stepmother Suzanna, and Lorcan’s cousin Lydia cornered Lorcan outside the tavern. “Where is she?” Morgana demanded, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

Lorcan smiled and opened his mouth to speak when Lord Cumberbatch broke the sullen silence he had fallen into after Lorcan informed him that there would be no drinking at the festival.

“Tell her something she wants to hear or she won’t believe you.”

“Actually, she just went that way with a rather dapper looking farmer’s son.” Lorcan pointed towards the most crowded part of the square.

Morgana glared at him. “Really?”

Lorcan nodded earnestly.

Morgana glanced questioningly at Suzanna. Great Uncle Mort’s nineteen year old wife shrugged. “There’s a first time for everything.” So far as he knew, Lorcan was the only one who knew Morgana and Suzanna’s secret. That could be why Suzanna believed him and headed off with the others following behind her.

“Told you. Women are stubborn, but ultimately stupid.”

“That’s a horrible thing to say!” Lorcan said.

“You’re talking to yourself,” Luciana reminded him. “Oh damn,” she groaned.

“What is it?” Lorcan followed Luciana’s gaze up to the third story of the inn where her family was staying. A window was open and Evie was lowering a rope through it.

“Try not to get killed while I stop my sister from being as dumb as you.” Luciana ran over to the Old Fisherman Inn.

Lorcan shrugged. “You can come out now,” he told Mandy.

Mandy got up from behind the barrels and dusted herself off. “I can’t believe that worked!”

“Suzanna trusts me.”

“Yeah, why is that?” Mandy asked.

“Sometimes good deeds go unpunished,” Lorcan answered cryptically.

Mandy looked skeptical, but she was prevented from further questioning Lorcan further when Thomas returned with a tall blonde in tow.

“This is Vera! She’s been helping me—what was the word?” Thomas asked her.

“Thwart,” Vera reminded him. Vera was tall, nearly the same height as Lorcan, and even skinnier than the scrawny Mandy. She had a prominent chin and defined cheekbones that, along with her hawkish nose, made her face quite distinctive. Oddest of all however, one of her eyes was sky blue while the other was a vibrant brown.

“Yes! She was helping me thwart Julian.” Thomas nodded happily.

“That’s wonderful. Thank you for your help, Vera.” Lorcan shook her hand warmly.

“It was my pleasure! Thomas has been telling me what a vile fool your cousin is. He also told me it was your idea to bring Thomas along to keep him from bamboozling any more poor girls. Bravo, sir!” Vera grinned at Lorcan.

“Th-thank you!” Lorcan stammered a bit at actually receiving praise from an attractive girl his own age.

“So suave you are,” Lord Cumberbatch taunted.

Lorcan ignored the voice in his head. Vera was still smiling at him, so he couldn’t be doing that badly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you before,” Lorcan said.

“I’m new in town,” Vera explained. “I’m a bit of a wanderer. Traveling here and there, working for a bit and then moving on. I’ve been all over the Empire. I’d love to tell you all about it, come find me later.” She ran her hand along Lorcan’s jawline and then she was gone, melted back into the crowded square.

“What happened to him?” Lorcan heard Luciana ask, but he was still staring in the direction Vera had gone.

“Thomas found him a lady friend,” Mandy teased.

“Another one?” Luciana asked, a tad incredulous. “Thomas must be a master matchmaker to find two women interested in that.” She gestured at Lorcan’s gangly body.

“Wait. There are two girls interested in Lorcan?” Mandy gasped. “Tell me! Tell me!”

“The librarian’s daughter was obviously making cutesy eyes at him before she had to run off and solve a mystery or some such nonsense. Then there’s this one that you just saw.” Luciana shook her head. Obviously, the notion of women being attracted to Lorcan perplexed her thoroughly.

“You have to go dance with one of them!” Thomas insisted. “Please!”

“Yeah, you charming devil, you. Who are you going to pick?” Mandy asked.

“Pick?” Lorcan gulped.

Mandy rolled her eyes. “You know, choose? Come on, you better not keep them waiting, especially that last girl. She must have been drunk or something to be that forward with you. Don’t let her sober up. Jena must have hit her head while looking for clues, so her temporary insanity might wear off soon too.”

Who should Lorcan ask to dance?

1)      Vera, the mysterious new girl

2)      Jena, the librarian sleuth